The betta community has this bizarre obsession with keeping these fish in what basically amounts to underwater prison cells. You know what I’m talking about – those depressing setups with…
So there I was last Tuesday night, kids finally in bed, doing my weekly tank maintenance when I spotted this weird fuzzy stuff growing on my driftwood. After four years…
My neighbor Janet knocked on my door around 11 PM last Tuesday, looking completely frazzled. “I can hear your fish tanks through the wall,” she said, which honestly confused me…
I was at my local aquarium store last week picking up some plant fertilizer when I overheard this conversation that made me cringe a little. A customer was pointing at…
The first time I walked into an aquarium store with my then three-year-old daughter, I was completely unprepared for how overwhelming it would be. The smell hit us first –…
You know what they say about learning the hard way? Well, I’m apparently a slow learner because I’ve made just about every possible mistake with aquarium glue over my five…
Okay, so you know how some fish just make you feel like you’re not good enough at this whole aquarium thing? That’s exactly what happened the first time I saw…
Last Saturday I was helping my buddy Dave set up a sump in his basement, and honestly, it looked like a Home Depot plumbing aisle had exploded all over his…
My buddy Steve texted me at like 11 PM last Thursday – “Marcus, my car smells like death. Help.” Turns out he’d been helping out this local fish store, transporting…
I was at the Petco near campus last week grabbing some fish food when I witnessed something that made my eye twitch. This employee was confidently telling some poor customer…
You know what really bugs me? When someone dismisses mollies as “just beginner fish.” I used to do it myself, honestly. Had this whole mental hierarchy where mollies were training…
Walking into PeaceHealth Fisher’s Landing Primary Care Clinic last Tuesday, I couldn’t shake this weird feeling – like maybe, just maybe, this healthcare visit wouldn’t completely suck. I’d been putting…
I was at my local fish store last month when I witnessed what might be the most painful conversation in aquarium retail history. This mom and her daughter, maybe seven…
I was checking my tank thermometer this morning – you know, that obsessive ritual all fishkeepers develop – watching it bounce between 76.2 and 76.8 degrees, when my daughter asked…
Looking back at my aquascaping notes from 2016, I can see where I wrote “Bolbitis = DISASTER” in red pen with about five underlines. Yeah, that was after my first…
So I thought I was pretty hot stuff at planted tanks, you know? Had a couple successful nano setups running, plants were thriving, fish were happy – I was basically…
Three weeks ago my neighbor Sarah basically ambushed me at my front door with what she described as “either brilliant or completely insane.” She’d been staring at her depressingly bland…
Standing in the aquarium section at Petco last weekend – you know, the one where half the fish look stressed and the water’s always slightly cloudy – I watched this…
Man, I never thought I’d be the guy with forty cherry shrimp living in a tank on my kitchen counter, but here we are. Started with aquascaping, got obsessed with…
So there I was last Tuesday night, both kids finally asleep, doing my weekly tank maintenance ritual with a podcast playing in the background, when it hit me like a…
My roommate texted me yesterday asking if he could borrow my car to go fishing with some friends from his engineering classes. “Sure,” I said, “but you’re gonna hate trying…
I’m going to be brutally honest here – I killed three bettas in my first year of fishkeeping, and it haunts me to this day. This was back when I…
Walking past this art gallery downtown last month – you know the one near that overpriced coffee place I always complain about but keep going to anyway – I literally…
Look, I’m gonna start with something that happened just last month because it perfectly explains why I’m basically obsessed with oversized filtration now. My friend Sarah texted me at like…
Yesterday at the pet store I watched this dad with his little girl, maybe seven years old, picking out fish for what was obviously their first tank. She had her…
Look, I’m gonna be brutally honest here – I used to be absolutely terrible at keeping fish alive. Like, embarrassingly bad. I’m talking fish-floating-belly-up-within-48-hours bad. My first tank was basically…
I was digging through my old aquarium supplies last week – you know how it is, looking for that one piece of equipment you swear you put somewhere safe –…
So my friend Marcus texts me at like 7 AM last week – and you know when someone texts you that early, it’s either really good news or really bad…
You know that moment when you see something at the pet store and think “there’s no way that’s actually what they say it is”? That’s exactly what happened when I…
So there I was yesterday morning, standing in front of my main tank with my daughter’s sippy cup full of coffee (don’t ask, it’s been one of those weeks), watching…
So there I was at 2 AM three weeks ago, scrolling through Etsy like some kind of aquarium-obsessed insomniac, desperately hunting for Malaysian driftwood. You know that feeling when you’ve…
Last winter, I had what I thought was a perfect 40-gallon setup running in my apartment. Water parameters were dialed in, plants were growing like crazy, my little school of…
You know how some people have a gift for killing houseplants? Well, I managed to kill Java moss. Java moss. The plant that supposedly thrives on neglect and can survive…
So there I was last month, standing in Marcus’s driveway holding three bags of his most prized saltwater fish, having absolutely no clue how I was going to get them…
So I’m at my friend Sarah’s place last month, trying to wrangle my two-year-old who’s determined to touch every single thing in her living room, when I notice something’s different.…
I was up to my elbows in tank water last week, wrestling with my canister filter for the third time this month, when it hit me how ridiculous I’d been.…
I was at the local Petco last week when this guy walks up to their display tank – you know, the one decent-looking setup they have among all the sad…
So last week my neighbor Sarah showed up at my door looking like she was about to cry, clutching this crumpled Petco receipt. She’d just watched her brand new tank…
So I’m at my local fish store last week picking up some filter media, and I hear this employee telling some kid that “all aquarium plants are basically the same,…
You know how sometimes you make a decision that completely changes your hobby trajectory? Like, one minute you’re a normal aquarium keeper and the next you’re explaining to your wife…
You know what happened to me at Neptune Aquatics last week? I’m standing there minding my own business, looking at their display tanks, when this guy walks up to one…